Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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