I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
