Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
