I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
