Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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