I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
