I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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