she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
