Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
