just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.