Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
