yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
