I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
