you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
