It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
