Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
