we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize