i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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