CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
