On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
