So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
