we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize