Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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