I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize