Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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