My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
