Taylor Swift is so right about you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
