Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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