i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
