Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
