And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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