my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
