I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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