we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
