Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
