Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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