Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
