Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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