So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
His nipple licking is glorious
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize