this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
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I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
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I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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