you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
