she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
