i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just had sex on a roof
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
