That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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