Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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