Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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