I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
