Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
