i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing