but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs