last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!