C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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