You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
