The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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