Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
