Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
