"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
