I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Less talking, more tequila
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
