the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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