Betty ford says i'm here all night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
