wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
