did you get engaged???
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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