he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
