Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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