Buhtt sex?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
